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On the eve of Mother’s Day (May 13), Taiwanese host Li Jing took to Facebook to share a very heartbreaking message dedicated to her late mother.
“Mother’s Day will always be cause an ache in my heart. I was ignorant and was selfishly trying to keep you around. I asked the doctor to extend your life for three more years,” wrote the 60-year-old star.
However, Li Jing’s decision caused her mother to live with immense pain before she passed on.
“You had to be intubated with a nasal cannula and nasogastric tube, and the doctors tied your hands up because they were worried you would remove the tubes. Just like that you couldn’t eat, couldn’t speak, couldn’t move, couldn’t get up and just laid in the ICU for three years,” recalled Li Jing.
The host said that even though many years have passed, she still blames herself and would often wake up crying.
She would also be reminded of the way her mother helplessly looked at her whenever Li JIng asked her to cooperate with the doctors.
Li Jing only finally understood how much pain she put her mother through after she herself had to be intubated in 2012. At that time, Li Jing was suffering from kidney and lung issues.
“Was [my mother’s hapless gaze] a silent call for help? Was that love? Or hate? Or pain?” she questioned.
It’s why after so many years, Li Jing is still crippled with guilt.
“I was wrong. I really was wrong. I was selfish and I thought what I did was out of love. But you could only hear the sound of the respirator and look at the ceiling [during your remaining days]. Now then I realise that it must have been such unbearable torture!” she wrote.
“I’m begging for your forgiveness. I miss you so much on Mother’s Day. I hope that you’re happy in heaven and can forgive my ignorance and stupidity. Let me make it up to you in my next life, okay? Come back and be my mum again. Let me use my entire life to pay you back, okay?,” pleaded Li Jing.
Photos: chinapress
Read original article here: www.8days.sg
News Summary:
- “It Must Have Been Such Unbearable Torture”: Taiwanese Host Li Jing Regrets Asking Doctors To Extend Late Mum’s Life For 3 Years
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